Sabrina Popo wasn’t similar different grandmas. She was my grandma. She lived connected her ain and juggled a dense societal rotation of dim sum, elder ballroom dancing, and mahjong with her miss friends. I’d person to beryllium penciled successful to her engaged calendar if I wanted to get clip with her.
Despite spending the past forty-five years successful America, Sabrina Popo didn’t request to larn English, since she lived successful the mostly Chinese assemblage of San Gabriel. But determination were moments she’d astonishment maine with words similar “se-do-be-ley”—her Cantonese pronunciation of strawberry—and “Roshi,” her effort astatine my puerility dog’s name, Yoshi.
Sabrina Popo loved beauteous things: powdery-pink plot roses, beauteous people, cleanable skin, and beauteous radical with cleanable skin. I’d drawback her wearing an oversized visor, similar an Asian Darth Vader, portion watering her garden. Normally, she cared excessively overmuch astir what she was wearing successful public, but if it meant protecting her porcelain skin, each was just game. She’d prime maine up from schoolhouse successful a car with murdered-out tinted windows blacking retired the sun, portion wearing agelong achromatic gloves to her elbows. She always looked 20 years younger than her existent age, and had matrimony proposals from a antithetic aged antheral each fewer months. She was graceful with a hint of humility and elegant with a heap of vanity, and we loved her for it.
During the Lunar New Year, Sabrina Popo’s location would beryllium adorned with bowls of kumquats and mandarin oranges, chocolate golden coins, sesame effect brittle, and achromatic chunks of candied wintertime melon that she’d saved conscionable for me.
The withdrawal of affection that defined some my parents’ childhoods was a communal communicative successful Chinese culture….Tough emotion was the lone love.
Steph and I would recite each Cantonese proverb we’d memorized that year, trying to impressment the adults capable to cod arsenic galore reddish envelopes of fortunate wealth arsenic we could.
“Sum seung si sing 心想事成,” we’d say, redeeming the champion for last.
“Sum seung si sing 心想事成,” Sabrina Popo would repetition arsenic she handed maine a reddish envelope with some hands and a wink. May each your wishes travel true.
While Sabrina Popo would occasionally astonishment america with herbal broths simmering connected her backmost burner, a batch of salted-cabbage-and-pork dumplings, oregon Kraft mac and food with evaporated milk, she had been acold much of a societal butterfly than a home genius erstwhile she was raising my ma and had relied connected her ain parent to assistance out. But erstwhile my great-grandmother died from a bosom onslaught portion victoriously screaming “Pong!” astatine the mahjong table, Sabrina Popo told my then-teenage ma that she was the caller household cook. My ma didn’t cognize however to boil water. But idiosyncratic had to measurement up and beryllium responsible. So she ventured to an open-air marketplace and timidly pointed astatine random cuts of nutrient from a smoking butcher successful a bloody apron. Crowds of radical were yelling astatine her to hurry arsenic she fumbled to negotiate. She returned location to stir-fry the enigma nutrient with immoderate enigma vegetables and served it to the family.
“Your celebrated cardboard with rubber bands!” Phillip Gong Gong, my grandfather, teased her, chewing the gristly nutrient and semi-raw cabbage chunks. But helium inactive ate it with a smile, my ma says, and called it perfectly delicious. It didn’t substance however it tasted. They needed to beryllium fed. By fourteen, she’d grown up.
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Phillip Gong Gong was a charmer with a crisp jawline and glossy coiffed hair. The eldest lad of sixteen siblings, helium saw each of his sisters fixed distant astatine commencement but the youngest, whom helium raised arsenic his ain erstwhile helium was inactive a teenager. He was a self-taught instrumentalist who could play astir immoderate instrument, a hustler juggling jobs arsenic a euphony teacher, bartender, and Ricky Ricardo-style large set leader, until helium became a personage conductor successful Hong Kong with his ain assortment amusement connected TV—a vocation he’d aboriginal sacrifice to determination to America, going from household sanction to anonymous pianist successful San Francisco’s lounges. And helium was besides a romantic—that’s wherever I get it from—who lived for the thrill of falling successful love.
Sabrina Popo had besides been dreaming of falling successful emotion since she was a small girl.
My grandparents were astir eighteen erstwhile they met. Sabrina came from a high-status household of scholars, and Phillip, the struggling instrumentalist and kid of butchers, wasn’t capable for her family. While Sabrina’s identical duplicate sister, Virginia, was arranged to wed a Chinese American antheral successful the States who spoke nary Cantonese, Sabrina wouldn’t fto her parents halt their love— oregon halt her from getting pregnant. In a civilization governed by saving face, to sphere the families’ reputations, they went up and joined earlier anyone noticed.
But adjacent aft she gave commencement to my mom, and aboriginal to 3 much kids, Sabrina ne'er got utilized to being a mother. She would locomotion the streets of Hong Kong, parading her champion outfits portion shooing distant her children, who had to travel respective steps behind her. When they were retired successful public, Sabrina’s champion person would often clasp my mother’s hand, acting arsenic a surrogate parent.
The withdrawal of affection that defined some my parents’ childhoods was a communal communicative successful Chinese culture. Praising and hugging your children meant spoiling them. Strict rules and expectations shaped children into responsible, disciplined people. Tough emotion was the lone love.
And by my mom’s teen years, my grandparents’ matrimony was falling apart. My grandpa had fallen for a pistillate successful the nightclub wherever helium worked. In a hopeless effort to prevention her marriage, Sabrina made a household announcement: She and the kids were packing up to determination to America. I person perfectly nary thought however this would person fixed her marriage, but she went each in, flying my sixteen-year-old ma and her 3 siblings crossed the Pacific Ocean to Hollywood, without knowing a connection of English.
The 5 of them lived connected apical of 1 different successful a one-bedroom flat with bunk beds disconnected Franklin Avenue. My ma enrolled arsenic a inferior astatine Hollywood High School and took attraction of the house—cleaning, reheating frozen chickenhearted cookware pies, and making definite everyone did their homework. Even without overmuch English, she picked up a job—wrapping wontons astatine a adjacent frozen nutrient factory—to assistance wage rent.
Divorce wasn’t communal successful the 1960s, and it was the eventual disgrace successful our culture—Chinese radical volition shame the crap retired of women for the nonaccomplishment of their marriage. But Sabrina Popo was brave capable to deterioration each this shame, truthful she filed for divorce. Newly independent, she picked up a occupation arsenic a slope teller successful the precise achromatic San Fernando Valley. She started leaving my ma and her siblings for weeks astatine a clip to sojourn her caller fellow successful Boston, Teddy, whom she would yet marry. My sixteen-year-old ma would beryllium near taking attraction of 3 kids nether fifteen.
My ma and I speech astir it openly now: Sabrina Popo admitted ne'er wanting to beryllium a mother. Both she and my gramps simultaneously bent to taste expectations portion trying to follow their ain passions. Phillip had his music, and, for amended oregon worse, Sabrina had her loves.
It’s hard to representation my ma doing everything connected her ain astatine specified a young age, including acting similar a genitor to her siblings. I consciousness truthful protective of teenage Alice, who was forced to turn up truthful fast. But my ma carries it lightly. She has ever been a glass-half-full benignant of idiosyncratic and knows that Sabrina was doing the champion she could. Sabrina went for the things that made her happy, and successful a way, she modeled freedom.
Motherhood whitethorn not person been her calling, but Sabrina Popo was a loving and affectionate grandmother. She would walk the afternoons with america portion my parents were astatine work, driving america astir and blasting Chinese opera. She’d propulsion implicit to bargain a container of oranges from the broadside of the roadworthy and travel location to kick they had holes successful them, not knowing my sister and I were poking them with toothpicks successful the backmost seat. At her house, we’d play hide-and-seek successful her closet, and I’d tally my hands on chill silk slips, strings of beads, and fur coats. Steph and I would wrapper ourselves with her achromatic feather boas and onslaught exemplary poses, giggling. We’d creation astir her vanity lined with photos of Sabrina from her travels, scanning the antithetic shades of lipstick and the neat rows of nail polish. But the champion portion of each was discovering her postulation of wigs. I would enactment 1 connected and strut down an imaginary runway until she would drawback me.
The paradox of my dada is that helium could unconsciously accidental the astir hurtful, unfiltered things to your face, but helium was besides honorable and generous.
Because Sabrina Popo spoke lone Cantonese, our communal connection was food. When she and Teddy Gong Gong would instrumentality america for crystal pick astatine Thrifty’s, we’d each bid a gangly cylinder of crystal pick connected a sugar-free cone—classic food pecan for Teddy Gong Gong and pistachio for Sabrina Popo. I’d spell for the blistery messiness that was rainbow sherbet. Popo would lick her cone ever truthful gracefully, ne'er dripping oregon messing up the lining of her magenta lipstick. Somehow, her crystal pick was ever perfect, conscionable similar her.
But the strongest contented we shared was dim sum—it rooted our full family. Every Saturday, we’d propulsion up to Sabrina Popo’s favourite edifice successful the SGV. From the outside, the gathering looked abandoned, but erstwhile we made it to the apical floor, the chatter of hundreds of radical deed me. The banquet hallway was full chaos, packed with radical who shoved their mode toward the front, trying to bribe the hostess for a array with reddish envelopes. My parents would driblet Sabrina Popo’s name, and they’d fto america close through.
To accidental dim sum houses are large is an understatement: At ours, we would perceive families talking implicit each other, plates and teapots clanging, small aged Chinese ladies screaming arsenic they pushed their mode betwixt tables with their carts afloat of food, customers shouting retired requests. The tables were draped successful salmon-pink tablecloths and ringed with agleam reddish chairs, and each sheet had a napkin folded into a swan. Above us, chandeliers shimmered.
Before my aunt and 2 uncles arrived, my ma would always orchestrate who should beryllium where. My favourite spot was connected the extracurricular of the table, closest to the dim sum carts arsenic they rolled by. I’d settee successful and look astatine the ovum tarts and baked barbecue pork buns, their tops glistening and aureate brown. Some carts were stacked precocious with metallic steamers, portion others held vats of boiling h2o to blanch tender stalks of gai lan. I listened for the sizzling of the turnip cakes. The woman handling the cart would flip them connected a griddle, perfectly crisping them connected each side, earlier sliding them onto a plate. I’d savor the saccharine caramelized bits of Chinese sausage and dried shrimp inside.
My mom’s siblings usually arrived successful a sour temper without greeting anyone astatine the table, my aunt’s brow furrowed and my uncle wearing a sneaky smirk. They were ever miserable astir something. But things would look up erstwhile Sabrina Popo made her entrance. This Saturday, she sauntered successful wearing a leopard-print tracksuit and rose-tinted glasses, making her rounds to greet friends astatine each table. Her entrances were ever a vibe. When she yet made her mode to us, she insisted connected sitting connected the outside of the table, adjacent to the action.
Sabrina Popo beckoned the server with a small smile. He knelt down to perceive to her.
“Guk fa cha, mm goi 菊花茶,唔該,” she said, asking for her accustomed chrysanthemum beverage successful a dependable pitched similar a Chinese opera singer, yet someway brushed and delicate.
A achromatic teapot arrived astatine the table, and my sister started pouring the beverage into tiny porcelain teacups lined up successful a row. Steph passed 1 to each household member, spinning the lazy Susan successful the mediate of the table. She finished pouring beverage for my dad, who was engaged talk-yelling successful Cantonese but tapped 2 fingers connected the array to amusement his appreciation.
“Har gow 蝦餃! Siu mai 燒賣! Char siu bao 叉燒包!” a pistillate called out, pushing her steaming cart close astatine my oculus level.
Two metallic steamers landed connected the table, 1 connected apical of the other. My sister divided the buns betwixt our household members, splitting hers successful 2 and handing maine the different half. Pork lacquered with a sweet, sticky glaze overflowed from the halfway of the pillowy bun. For a Chinese kid, char siu bao was arsenic breathtaking arsenic a container of candy. The lazy Susan rapidly overflowed with our favorites: sticky atom with abalone wrapped successful lotus leaves, spare ribs with fermented achromatic bean, curried honeycomb tripe.
While my aunt and uncles fought for power implicit the lazy Susan, hogging the champion bites for themselves, I caught Sabrina Popo’s eye. Egging maine connected to effort her favourite dish, she dangled a braised chickenhearted ft with her chopsticks. I teased her backmost with a puckered food look and a giggle. She gave maine a wink and a smile.
Sabrina Popo was a dilatory and steady, methodical eater, and I often joined her successful the snail’s gait eating portion the remainder of the household impatiently waited for us. After we cleaned the full lazy Susan, the inevitable wrangling for the cheque began. It was a delicate societal dance, a show of your manners and upbringing, ensuring you weren’t raised by wolves—and astir times, it was besides a powerfulness play. You were expected, astatine the precise least, to enactment up a bully fight, and the creation could get existent disfigured existent quick—I’ve witnessed aunties and uncles pounding their fists connected the array successful a yelling warfare and checks being ripped consecutive down the middle. Kids made bully accomplices, tasked with sneaking disconnected connected a hunt for the bill.
My dada was the archetypal to drawback the bill, acceptable for a combat to the death. But my mother’s member conveniently excused himself to the bathroom, portion my aunt and different uncle turned to speech to each other.
Sabrina Popo reached for her purse.
“Please, Lou Ma Zi 老媽子”—he addressed her arsenic his ain mother—“don’t adjacent deliberation astir it. My treat!” my dada said, putting up his manus to halt her. There was nary mode helium was going to fto an honored elder pay. A good man pays for the bill, and the paradox of my dada is that helium could unconsciously accidental the astir hurtful, unfiltered things to your face, but helium was besides honorable and generous—and he’d definite arsenic hellhole instrumentality attraction of the household astatine the dim sum table.
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From The Girl Who Became King by Melissa King. Copyright © 2026 by Melissa King. Published by The Dial Press, an imprint of Random House, a part of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
English (US) ·