Flynn and Miss Ogilvie had been fixed nary portion to play successful the unsighted judging of the Festival Cake. Denholm had requested their beingness simply arsenic observers—messengers who would convey the verdict backmost to Savoy Court. Flynn was determination arsenic the titular caput (and, successful fact, lone member) of the Cake Subcommittee. Miss Ogilvie, arsenic acold arsenic Flynn could tell, had been asked simply due to the fact that she was a woman. “Under duress, successful my defence,” she said to Denholm.
The rival confections had yet been baked and decorated astatine an unearthly hr by Denholm’s “suitable women” successful a trial room lent to them by Lyons, and past ferried each the mode crossed London to the boardroom of the Royal Society of Arts successful John Adam Street. It had been a downbeat affair, held “in camera,” the judges assembling astir an tremendous mahogany array connected which the runners and riders were displayed. Plates and barroom forks were distributed by a young waitress besides borrowed from Lyons, from the Corner House connected Coventry Street, who chopped the cakes and handed circular slices to the judges. (Both Flynn and Miss Ogilvie shied distant astatine the nippy’s approach.) It was inactive aboriginal and immoderate of them looked alternatively queasy. Someone murmured thing astir bacon and eggs being much due astatine this clip of day.
The judges were a occupation lot, conscripted seemingly unwillingly into their unpaid role–an Italian sous cook from Rules; a antheral successful a large plaid suit whose sanction and concern were ne'er mentioned; the authoress of a Handy Hints book; a writer from Woman’s Realm; and a antheral with a beardown Birmingham accent who said helium wrote miscellaneous columns for the Evening Standard. “And if there’s an obituary, past it’s maine that’ll person written it.”
The cakes were mostly straightforward iced and decorated affairs, and were thing that the man—or much apt the woman—in the thoroughfare wouldn’t admit arsenic cake. This was not the lawsuit for one—an egregious offering that dwarfed each the others, similar a cuckoo successful a wren’s nest. It was an extraordinarily bombastic affair, reminiscent of a cathedral dome and embellished successful a baroque manner, swagged and garlanded with icing, studded with angelica and sugared almonds, and dotted with glace cherries successful garish trafficlight colours. The pistillate who had compiled the Handy Hints book helpfully explained these method details to Flynn, whispering successful his receptor similar idiosyncratic translating a overseas language. The full was topped not by a cupola oregon a transverse but a tiny pennant, connected which the Festival emblem had been drawn successful crayons successful a alternatively amateurish hand.
The Handy Hints woman (he ne'er did negociate to drawback her name) had someway acquired the thought that Flynn’s battered look was the effect of a postulation accident, and she occasionally placed her plump manus connected apical of his and gave it a sympathetic squeeze.
More rococo extravagance was revealed erstwhile the barroom was chopped into by the small Lyons nippy. “It’s hardly an austerity cake, is it?” Miss Ogilvie remarked to nary 1 successful particular.
It was successful information an unholy mess, not conscionable of sponge but besides meringue (the Handy Hints woman again). Raspberry jam oozed from betwixt the layers similar sticky blood. “And marzipan,” the Handy Hints woman murmured, “there’s a surprise.”
Flynn glanced astatine Miss Ogilvie. She remained impassive, the faintest hint of a sardonic grin connected her lips the lone hint to her thoughts. The Woman’s Realm woman ushered them retired of the room.
*
Apparently the judging required the benignant of secrecy usually afforded a papal conclave. Flynn stood extracurricular connected the pavement with Miss Ogilvie. She refused his connection of a cigarette, but relented erstwhile helium lit up and said, “Perhaps I volition indulge, aft all. It’s Maud, by the way. My name. Although I deliberation we should observe the proprieties erstwhile we’re successful the office.”
“Of course. I’m Harry.” “I know.”
They smoked their cigarettes down to the filter and Flynn said, “What bash you think–have they sent up the achromatic fume yet?”
“Let’s spell successful and see.”
The conclave had so chosen its pontiff. “II Duomo,” the sous cook from Rules said. The ridiculous cathedral-like cake? The antheral successful the large suit made a large ceremonial of revealing the sanction of the champion who had baked it. “Mitzi Blinkhorn.”
Had the judges mislaid their marbles? Why, retired of each the entrants, take this peculiar creation? Flynn asked the Handy Hints woman. “So festive,” she said gaily. There was wide alternatively sly laughter astatine this, and it struck Flynn that for some, perchance malicious, reason, this cabal had decided to take not the champion barroom but the worst one. Or arsenic a joke, perhaps. Flynn tried to ideate housewives crossed the onshore struggling to make this monstrous concoction. His Presbyterian parent would person been appalled. She favoured the punishing plain–a gritty effect barroom oregon a sandy Madeira.
Or was the full happening a connivance and Mitzi Blinkhorn ever destined to win, acknowledgment to immoderate Machiavellian manipulation down the scenes?
“A conspiracy of immoderate kind?” Maud Ogilvie speculated thoughtfully. “I perceive that Miss Blinkhorn is simply a person of Mr. Dangerfield.”
“Really?”
“Perhaps helium owes her a favour.” She laughed. “Who knows what acheronian arts person been employed to bring astir the result.”
“But it is just a barroom though,” Flynn protested. Dark arts seemed alternatively hyperbolic to his ears. “This batch don’t look similar Freemasons oregon Templars.” (Evans would astir apt disagree.)
“Nothing is ever ‘just’ something, Harry. You indispensable surely cognize that.”
The nippy, with an impish grin, said, “Here you go,” handing Flynn a portion of barroom connected a plate. Was she successful connected the plot? The kipper helium had attempted astatine meal successful a Kardomah edifice connected Southampton Row rebelled.
Maud Ogilvie waved the nippy away. (“Not for me, dear.”) “In my defence,” she said to Flynn, “I americium a diabetic.” She was not without guile, Flynn realized. She ever had a biscuit with her elevenses and different with her beverage successful the afternoon, and lone yesterday helium had watched her dip into a illustration container of “Festival Fruit Gums” sent to them by Rowntree’s and brought successful by the Boy. There was thing that had escaped being stamped with the Festival’s ubiquitous emblem–sweets, cigarettes, perfume, adjacent sandals–Specially designed to support you chill and smartly shod for fun-loving Festival walking! Flynn had been for a portion with a miss whose occupation was to spot adverts successful the assorted Festival guides and brochures and who spoke mostly successful panegyrics. It had been an exhausting evening of exclamation marks: (Daks—the celebrated comfort successful enactment trousers!) as she listed the galore companies that she had persuaded to endorse the Festival oregon sponsor things successful the funfair (“Schweppes-a grotto!”).
Maud Ogilvie smiled amiably astatine Flynn, arsenic if waiting for a challenge. “Lucky you,” helium said, throwing successful his hand.
“Maybe we could conscionable up connected different occasion?” the plump-handed Handy Hints woman said to Flynn arsenic helium was leaving. “Coffee oregon a drink, perhaps?”
“Perhaps,” Flynn said politely.
“Women are attracted to you, aren’t they?” Maud Ogilvie said arsenic they made their mode retired of the building. It sounded similar a criticism.
“I genuinely don’t cognize why,” helium said.
“Oh, don’t apologize, Mr. Flynn. Shall we locomotion back?”
Without waiting for an answer, she acceptable disconnected astatine an alarmingly brisk pace. Her achromatic gaberdine was unbuttoned and flapped successful the upwind truthful that she looked arsenic though she was astir to instrumentality disconnected Flynn had to tally to drawback up with her.
*
Back successful the office, Evans was toiling implicit the pageants, covering a expanse of insubstantial successful his neat nonconformist hand, occasionally muttering successful disbelief “Jousting? Jousting? They privation jousting?” Or “They’re spending 50 pounds, sixteen shillings and sixpence connected wigs?” He had been fixed nary oversight connected the assorted pageants’ spending (no authoritative authorization implicit them astatine all, successful fact), but nevertheless they seemed compelled to study their expenditure to the fiscally frugal Evans.
Denholm appeared and said, “Went the time well, Mr. Flynn? Is determination quality connected the Festival Cake front? Who took the laurels?”
“Mitzi Blinkhorn.”
“Oh, God,” Denholm said. “She was the 1 they chose. Really?”
“‘Fraid so,” Flynn said.
“She’s an atrocious woman.”
“Who is?” the Boy asked, perking up astatine the thought of awfulness.
“Mitzi Blinkhorn,” Maud Ogilvie said.
The Boy gave a snort of disbelief “Bloody hell. What benignant of a moniker is that?”
“Don’t swear,” Evans said.
“You cognize her?” Flynn asked Denholm.
“Everyone knows Mitzi.”
“I don’t,” the Boy said.
“You don’t count,” Evans said.
“Why did you see her successful your database of suitable women if she’s truthful awful?” Flynn asked.
“Me? God, no, no, not me,” Denholm protested. “I deliberation her sanction was added later. By Dangerfield, probably.”
“Did you bring immoderate barroom backmost with you, Mr. Flynn?” the Boy asked.
“No. And beryllium grateful I didn’t.”
Denholm glanced astatine his ticker and said, “Speaking of the devil, I’ve got luncheon with Dangerfield implicit successful Simpson’s. He’s precise keen connected punctuality. You’re precocious if you’re connected time. But he’ll beryllium delighted with the result.”
“Not that it’s of immoderate involvement to anyone, slightest of each me,” Evans said erstwhile Denholm had melted away, “but I’ve been fixed a database of ‘pageantmasters,’ which is simply a occupation I ne'er adjacent knew existed until recently. Ede, Paine, Swinson, Gwen Lally–she’s alternatively frightening. Here’s a Mr. Gilmore from Brighton, who was ‘formerly pageantmaster to the King of Siam.’ If Mr. Gilmore could grip the King of Siam, past possibly helium could negociate Guildford.” (Guildford, for immoderate reason, was problematic.) “Let’s anticipation they’re funny successful a spot of societal history, but I expect we’ll get the accustomed maize dollies and just maidens skipping circular maypoles. This benignant of worldly feeds america a mentation of past that makes america consciousness bully astir ourselves. There’s nary aboriginal for us, truthful they’re making 1 up retired of the past.”
“Who’s ‘they’?” the Boy asked.
“The Establishment. The Powers That Be.” Evans shrugged. “Who knows? Not thee and me, anyway.” He ran retired of polemic and lit a Woodbine.
“What other bash you marque the aboriginal retired of, if not the past?” Flynn puzzled.
“And wherefore shouldn’t we consciousness bully astir ourselves?” Badger added. “And what’s more, I’m alternatively partial to just maidens skipping circular maypoles. If lone they were partial to me. We request more maypoles, successful fact. They’re truthful gloriously phallic.”
“What does that mean—fallick?” the Boy asked.
They each looked to Evans successful his relation arsenic the Boy’s mentor. After immoderate information helium said, “It’s the aforesaid meaning arsenic mythic-miffic—but it’s a spot of a anserine word. If you usage it successful public, radical volition dainty you similar an idiot.”
The Boy laughed. “I won’t beryllium utilizing it, then.”
“Well played, Mr. Evans,” Maud Ogilvie murmured.
“Oh, and present you go, Flynn,” Evans said, perking up. “I instrumentality your Mitzi Blinkhorn and rise you 1 Major Lawrence du Garde Peach. He sounds similar helium was calved to beryllium a pageantmaster.”
*
Flynn abstained from lunch, inactive bilious from the morning’s cake, and alternatively spent the hr wandering done Chancery, braced by a chill outpouring upwind that had blown distant the morning’s rain. He ended up successful Lincoln’s Inn Fields. The daffodils present were astir finished, isolated from 1 small spot of stragglers inactive flowering connected heroically against the odds. Why would you privation to confine them to poetry? One of the entrants for the Festival Poems had been a sham Wordsworthian hymn to the mediocre flowers. They had “faces of gold” and “swooned successful the lukewarm arms of the zephyr” and truthful on. Could a daffodil swoon? It seemed unlikely.
Lifting his ain airy look to the anemic sun, Flynn recovered himself not swooning but reasoning unexpectedly astir however successful the schoolhouse holidays astatine the merest hint of good upwind helium and his member would leap connected their bikes and contention retired of municipality arsenic if an advancing force were connected their heels. They would rhythm for miles with a youthful stamina that Flynn could hardly ideate now, straining to the apical of Sutton Bank earlier freewheeling backmost down, screaming similar maniacs astatine the velocity they could achieve. It was astonishing that they didn’t termination themselves. They went each over–Pocklington, Hutton-le-Hole, adjacent arsenic acold arsenic Scarborough sometimes, wherever they ate blistery salty chips connected the pier. Otherwise, it was h2o from a stream, oregon a vessel of ginger brew and 2 slices of astir chopped breadstuff slapped astir a portion of ham, and a mates of hard-boiled eggs that they peeled and dipped successful a small twisted insubstantial of salt. On 1 magnificent occasion, ne'er to beryllium forgotten, they had an extravagant precocious beverage astatine the Black Swan successful Helmsley, paid for by Charlie’s insubstantial circular (gammon and fried eggs, buttered beverage loaf, scones lukewarm from the oven with clotted pick and strawberry jam).
They were not peculiarly adjacent increasing up–their characters were excessively different–but they were the champion of friends during these madcap excursions. Perhaps if Charlie had survived the warfare they would person grown much attached to each different implicit time, though the other seemed much likely. Flynn would ne'er cognize now. He felt keenly the nonaccomplishment of thing helium had ne'er had.
When helium heard Big Ben chiming the hour, helium roseate from the seat and near the daffodils down to an day unmolested by poetry.
__________________________________
From Our Noble Selves: A Novel by Kate Atkinson. Reprinted by support of Doubleday, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a part of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2026 by Kate Costello Limited.
English (US) ·