This is How People Die

Scoot, Exhibit 06, Two-Handed Gogi

Dodging cars that didn’t adjacent effort to dilatory down, I made my mode crossed the four-lane highway, on which Pig-licker and I had been running, coughing, and astir to dice successful each kinds of ways. I hadn’t gotten disconnected to a large commencement arsenic a parent, seeing arsenic it requires being alive. The road I was crossing was divided by a monolithic astir chest-high factual median. Once connected the different broadside of that thing, I knew the taxi operator would person nary mode to scope me.

I hopped up onto the four-foot-high factual operation that divided the freeway. With cars rushing by successful 2 directions, I held retired my hands and walked for a spot with a sensation I tin lone picture arsenic biblical. I walked on a four-foot-high median similar Moses successful the mediate of a freeway fleeing a taxi operator with a tyre robust successful a state I hadn’t heard of until yesterday? That was immoderate beardown cough syrup. I made a intelligence enactment to get more, but connected relationship of the cough syrup, I couldn’t retrieve if I’d bought it successful Paris oregon Poland.

Pig-licker drove on beside maine with a sneaky look successful his eyes. I snarled astatine him arsenic a badger might, for I was the lad of a lion. I jumped disconnected the median onto the different side.

I was crossing a boundary—the borderline of a satellite wherever Pig-licker did not beryllium and Niki waited.

This sensation collapsed on with my ankle. It occurred to me, supine connected the asphalt, that specified a gangly road median was designed to forestall pedestrians from getting themselves into this nonstop situation. I’d been distracted by a three-legged canine I saw hopping by. I had intended to deed the crushed running. Instead, my ankle gave, and I face-planted into oncoming traffic. The symptom was sharp, but the panic was sharper. The thoroughfare was connected me, man.

Cars flew by. Their panicked horns were textbook examples of the Doppler Effect. Dragging my limb down maine I hopped and crawled crossed the two-lane highway.

Safely connected the different side, I collapsed successful the gutter, coughed, shuddered, and puked. I looked backmost to find that I’d near my wallet halfway crossed the archetypal lane of traffic. There it was flapping successful the aforesaid spot wherever I’d landed erstwhile my ankle gave out. I’d been successful Georgia for little than 2 hours, and I already knew this was the spot for me.

As I sat determination successful the gutter holding my throbbing ankle and screaming “Fuuuuuck,” astatine my full full life, the three-legged canine limped past maine rifling its chemoreceptor done the rifts of trash.

“You’re nobody’s champion friend,” I wailed astatine the animal. “You person nary friends!” The canine seemed to springiness maine a look of pity.

I hopped backmost done oncoming postulation and fell again erstwhile I reached down to get my wallet. I got backmost up and to the different side, and I kept walking arsenic the prima acceptable connected my back. I could consciousness its fading warmth wherever my garment was torn unfastened by Pig-licker, but that was each down me.

Before maine was a immense orangish moon. It hung large successful the entity arsenic if it belonged to this infinitesimal alone. Wow, I thought. Georgia has 1 hellhole of a moon. And I knew that satellite was my mode backmost to Niki if she would ever person maine again.

I limped done what looked similar a park, and I sat down connected 1 of the benches. There were 4 guys successful a ellipse speaking loudly successful Georgian and drinking thing wide from a large integrative bottle. They smoked cigarettes truthful rapidly they could beryllium munching connected French fries.

“Where are you from?” the handsome 1 asked me. He was the designated talker.

“Canada,” I lied, benignant of believing it. Everyone thinks that radical from South Carolina are racist, and I wanted to marque a bully content connected these guys. He came implicit to shingle my hand. I tried to conscionable him halfway but forgot astir my ankle and astir fell again.

“Are you drunk?” a shorter feline successful a leather overgarment asked me.

“I wish,” I said.

“What happened to your foot,” helium asked.

“I deliberation I sprained it,” I said. They looked astatine maine strangely. “I held retired my ft and pointed astatine it. “Kaput,” I said.

“Ah…” they said. I nodded proudly. We were men with breached stuff.

“Drink this,” said the shorter feline successful a achromatic leather jacket. He handed maine the vessel of wide liquid. “This volition help.”

It did.

But by the look of astonishment successful his eyes, I don’t deliberation helium had meant for maine to portion each of it. The wide worldly deed maine fast. It tasted similar pitchy substance for an craft that had yet to beryllium invented and mightiness ne'er beryllium if humans kept drinking worldly similar this.

We talked astir perfectly thing successful breached languages. Each happening we said grew much profound than the happening earlier it. They were truthful anxious to laughter arsenic if conscionable lasting determination with each different was a joke, and I was the punchline.

“Yeah, Muthafucka!” I said to the abbreviated 1 successful the leather overgarment and held up my manus for a high-five. He punched maine quadrate successful the chemoreceptor truthful hard I landed connected my back.

“Fuck your mother,” helium screamed with a look of manic quality successful his eyes.

Another feline pushed him. And with the feigned outrage and the bushed fidelity of adjacent friends brawling, they held each different backmost and traded insults—no uncertainty invoking each other’s mothers.

I was truthful astonished I forgot I was inactive connected the ground. I thought they mightiness person forgotten astir me, but the handsome 1 came over, helped maine up, and dusted disconnected the backmost of my garment successful a fatherly gesture. Leading maine distant from the group, helium again offered maine a cigarette.

“No thanks, man,” I said coughing. “Lung problems.” He didn’t judge me.

“You can’t accidental that. Not successful Georgia,” helium said paternally. “Bacho’s parent truly is whore.”

“Really?” I asked. What luck.

“No,” helium said laughing. “She is simply a doctor. But she is not a bully woman.”

Behind him successful the region I saw it—the spot I indispensable person been looking for. It was an oasis of wonderment successful a godforsaken of concrete.

“Hey man, what’s that place? Over there—are those bumper cars?” I asked of the tiny glowing colony successful the mediate of this unusual park.

“It’s… however you telephone it?” helium said fumbling for the words, “amusement park.”

“Amusement park,” I repeated. There was a majesty to these words.

“It’s called Shaviko Land,” helium said pensively.

“Shaviko Land.” I agreed.

“It’s named aft a babe tiger, who was changeable by the fucking police.”

“Baby tiger,” I said. “Fucking police,” I said.

“No, it was achromatic panther,” the shorter feline successful the leather overgarment said. They began bickering again. I braced myself.

“Your chemoreceptor is bleeding,” said the feline who had punched maine successful the nose. He handed maine a napkin. They began arguing again.

I limped my mode toward Shaviko Land and paid my admittance astatine the gross with a recognition paper that worked by immoderate miraculous banking error. The wide worldly truly helped my ankle on with each my different problems. The rides flashed and twirled astir me. Time seemed to melt into light. I drifted similar a ghost.

“It’s similar heaven,” I said to Bacho. He had followed maine successful and was lasting beside maine arsenic if to support me.

“No man, it’s similar shit,” helium said.

I patted him connected the enarthrosis and kept walking. “Your ma is simply a good doctor,” I said.

“Stop saying astir my mother,” helium called retired down me, but it was lone syllables.

Eventually, I ran retired of rides to look astatine and recovered myself facing what looked similar a chickenhearted ligament fence. I didn’t spot an exit and determination was nary going back, truthful I climbed the wobbling fence. When I got to the apical the full happening collapsed. The chickenhearted ligament and I came crashing down with a thud. I rolled down a steep elevation into a conifer tree.

Nothing seemed to hurt. I looked backmost uphill wherever the 4 guys stood successful a radical staring astatine me.

I puked. And past I waved to them. Bacho waved back. The different feline shook his caput arsenic if helium had expected amended of me. I heard them arguing again successful the region arsenic I limped done a wood of lilac-gray Soviet-era factual flat complexes that towered on the highway. In the region was an ominous-looking gathering that I yet gleaned was a constabulary presumption with a circular solid exterior.

I was beauteous definite this Orwellian constabulary presumption was the past spot successful the satellite I could go, nary substance however overmuch glass, light, and on-the-nose metaphors for transparency were applied to its exterior.

If the Georgian constabulary identified me, past I would beryllium sitting successful a jailhouse compartment successful the basement of that aforesaid solid building, but I would beryllium wherever determination are nary windows and wherever suspects person a random wont of falling down the stairs. I was wanted successful much countries present than conscionable Poland. And this was the nonstop benignant of concern that I had been emphatically implored to debar by the Polish detective who told america to caput for the Georgian-Turkish border. Her sanction was Cynthia Morian.

“Why Georgia?” Niki had asked.

“Because it’s not Europe, but it is inactive Europe,” Cynthia had said.

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t person that convenience close now,” Cynthia had snapped. Then, successful a calmer voice, she said, “It is the 1 spot wherever I tin support you harmless and the past spot they deliberation you’ll go.”

“Why?”

“Because your sledgehammer-headed fellow doesn’t adjacent cognize Georgia is simply a country.”

“She’s really right,” I whispered. And to Georgia we went.

I turned successful the different absorption and limped. I began to interest that I was caught successful immoderate benignant of clip loop and that Pig-licker was going to find me. I waved frantically astatine oncoming traffic. The coming dawn revealed the mud, blood, and what was either mustard oregon nacho food connected my garment from Shaviko Land.

The cab operator who yet picked maine up astir apt thought that I had escaped from the constabulary station. At first, helium didn’t inquire galore questions; I wouldn’t person either. I wouldn’t person adjacent picked myself up. But I waved a twenty-dollar measure astatine him, and helium nodded. So, I got in.

I had nary thought wherever we were headed, but helium was gangly and funny-looking with a immense caput of curly achromatic hair. He drove rapidly, with resolve, arsenic if we were headed somewhere. I liked this astir him due to the fact that that would person been important to maine if I had a destination. As helium overtook each car up of him, helium madly honked his horn and cursed successful Georgian astatine the drivers of the different cars—no uncertainty invoking the professions of their relatives. What a country. This was the spot for me.

When helium accelerated, I could consciousness each portion of the rusty small conveyance rattling to support up. The screaming motor bounced nether a rusty achromatic hood that appeared to beryllium fastened successful spot by a bungee cord. The car wasn’t white, but it had been once. Despite the evident deficiency of powerfulness steering, helium changed lanes swiftly with nary evident crushed oregon pattern. At times helium simply drove successful the mediate of the road.

What we were riding successful was not a car truthful overmuch arsenic a composite of parts: Wheels, seats, gears, and windows, nary of them original, each held together—and accelerating successful tandem—not conscionable by mechanical improvisation but immoderate benignant of precarious tacit statement with physics. It was glorious.

The operator smoked Winstons, hitting the cig each 2 breaths oregon so. I coughed astatine astir the aforesaid frequency, though this was not an illustration of origin and effect. I was coughing agelong earlier the taxi, and helium looked to person been smoking agelong earlier my existence. I was coughing due to the fact that it was clip to instrumentality my magic pills, which I had near with Niki.

That I trusted Niki capable to intentionally ditch her with The Medicine that kept maine live says a batch astir me, and nary of it’s good. What it says astir Niki is that I should walk the remainder of my beingness with her. Immediately.

The operator of the auto-parts composite wasn’t fat, but for his gut, which could hardly acceptable down the steering wheel. The remainder of him looked to beryllium successful beauteous bully signifier each things considered. He looked implicit astatine my relentless coughing with interest and tossed his cigaret retired the window. This had nary effect connected my cough, but it was a bully happening to do.

We entered a portion of the metropolis that looked much similar I had imagined it would. The operator began speaking Russian to maine and making these manus gestures portion helium was driving. I tried to pass back, but I didn’t talk immoderate Russian. And apparently, Georgian is simply a language. I didn’t cognize astir it until I got connected the plane, truthful I conscionable reciprocated with unusual sounds, grunts, and signals. This went connected for a while.

Then the antheral said, “You talk immoderate English, my friend?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m from Cana—America.”

“Ameeerikah! Yes. I lived successful Brooklyn,” the operator said.

“Really? Nice. Me too,” I lied. “What’s your name?” I asked him.

“My sanction is Gogi. But, my friends, they telephone maine ahm…” the operator said, fumbling for the words—“They telephone me, ‘Two-Handed Gogi’.”

“Why bash they telephone you that?” I asked.

“Because successful my village, determination was different lad besides named Gogi. He lone had 1 hand.” The operator looked implicit astatine maine and smiled.

I began to laughter and cough uncontrollably.

Gogi grinned and continued, “Another lad successful my village, his sanction is Zura. Everybody telephone him ‘Little Zura Riding Hood.’”

“Why bash they telephone him that?” I asked.

“Because his grandma was eaten by a wolf.” Two-Handed Gogi fto retired a high-pitched squeal of laughter. Harder and harder we some laughed, and I coughed. My cough was belligerent, rapid-fire—so hard I couldn’t get immoderate oxygen successful and truthful I had to gasp. But I was besides inactive laughing. I astir fainted.

“Why are you coughing?”

“I person allergies,” I lied. Then I said, “I person asthma,” I lied again. The information progressive an inconvenient conversation. This wasn’t the archetypal clip I’d invented reasons to explicate distant my cough. Once I told a feline connected the subway (he asked) that I had Ebola. He jumped retired of his spot similar a cat, and I took his spot and grinned.

“For your coughing,” Two-Handed Gogi said candidly, “You indispensable instrumentality whiskey and…” He thought for a minute, “…and chromatic and lemon.” He said “lemon” similar it was a revelation. Then helium grinned and flicked his cervix doubly successful immoderate planetary awesome for intoxicant enthusiasts.

“You tin travel to my house. I tin amusement you.” Two-handed Gogi meant it too. Maybe this wasn’t specified a atrocious idea. I didn’t precisely person a plan, a factual destination, oregon adjacent a suitcase. My telephone had service. What it lacked was purpose. Niki was the evident call—but calling her would’ve ruined the calamity I was trying to cause.

“Ok,” I said. “That would beryllium nice.” I was discovering that erstwhile not trying to execution you, Georgians are renowned for their hospitality.

“I hole your cough. I americium a certified vegetarian.” He said, “It is simply a hard work. Seeing galore dormant animals,” helium said.

“Vegetarian?” I asked.

“Ki, ho, diah,” helium said. All of these meant yes.

I was confused.

“Sometimes,” Two-Handed Gogi whispered, “They bring maine people. Bang, bang.” He made a shooting gesture. “If can’t spell to hospital. It’s business. Man indispensable to eat.”

“Are you talking astir cannibals?” I asked.

“No, no, no,” helium said laughing. “We don’t devour patient. You are a comic guy.”

I looked astatine him for a agelong clip and decided that helium was not a cannibal.

My cough yet died down. I leaned backmost and closed my eyes. The adust summertime greeting breeze felt fantastic connected my look astatine that speed. I don’t deliberation the car had immoderate windows. For the archetypal clip since Poland, I felt calm.

That is erstwhile the car deed us.

I recovered myself again prostrate connected a Georgian highway. I was bloody, covered with glass, and inactive coughing. But this clip it was humor that I was coughing up alternatively of conscionable mucus. It felt similar my ribs were broken. I wondered if 1 of my lungs was punctured. The pitchy substance was wearing disconnected and the symptom of the past 12 hours was mounting in. But erstwhile I saw Two-Handed Gogi, I forgot astir the pain.

Gogi, nary uncertainty distracted by his effort to pass with me, ran a reddish light. We were T-boned by a BMW going immoderate metric equivalent to a crap ton of miles per hour. The aged taxi seemed to person conscionable breached isolated and somehow, perchance done the windshield, I had been ejected from my spot onto the street.

I was connected my backmost facing what was near of the car. I smelled iron, tears, and petroleum. I watched an upside-down Two-Handed Gogi bleed retired of his tummy from which a ample portion of metallic protruded. I wondered if I was doing the same.

“Whiskey, honey, and lemon,” I said to him arsenic helium hung determination dying successful the twisted metal. I waited for the proverbial three-legged canine to hop connected by yet again.

“Golden retrievers,” I whispered. “Golden.”

No canine came. Dogs. Wait—

“Ah veterinarian, Gogi. Gogi, you’re a veterinarian. I get it now.”

But Two-Handed Gogi didn’t reply. “Gogi, Gogi,” I screamed. “You’re not a cannibal,” I said crying. There was truthful overmuch humor I couldn’t archer if it was excavation oregon his.

“Come on, vegetarian heal thyself,” I said sobbing successful delirium. When I coughed, I felt razor blades each implicit my body. If I cough again, I’ll die, I thought.

“Whiskey, honey, and lemon,” I whispered again to the dormant man. Two-handed Gogi near down a potbellied, curly-haired Georgian corpse bound successful the aged Russian framework of a taxi that wasn’t achromatic but had been once. I was excessively bushed for each the irony, but it was there.

The vigor was unbearable, and that is however I knew I was successful daze due to the fact that I could hardly consciousness it. This meant death, jail, oregon immoderate Sartre-esque operation of the two. And that astir seemed preferable to facing the Georgian police, Interpol, the Polish government, a pissed-off Cynthia Morian, oregon a senselessly broken-hearted Niki. I had nary prime successful the matter. The Haint would instrumentality maine past and there. Then it would travel for Niki and our baby. I had failed.

I heard something. There was movement. In that upside-down world, I saw a look I had yearned for the mode I ached for memories from my childhood: the odor of an oncoming thunderstorm lying sunburnt successful a hammock connected the structure of an aged formation house, that deathly voluptuous odor of freshly-cut grass, oregon the heavy petrichor of bedewed pavement. Upside down, she approached my wreckage, grinning. Her leather flip-flops crunched connected the shattered glass. It was her. It was Hannah. She smiled and said, “Damn, dude. This definite is simply a clusterfuck.”

“Don’t I cognize it,” I wheezed. “A regular goat rope.”

I sobbed astatine the show of upside-down Hannah, which wounded astir arsenic overmuch arsenic coughing and was arsenic arsenic hard to suppress. Hannah led maine here. I had followed her similar a script.

“Why’s everybody support dying, Hannah?” I said with my eyes each bedewed and my pharynx each dry.

“Gonna bargain your heart,” Hannah whispered. My imaginativeness went dark.

When the airy returned, I saw that it wasn’t Hannah. It was my champion person Sean—Sean the concealed agent. That’s what we called him anyhow due to the fact that helium worked for the authorities successful faraway places—places similar Georgia. Sean was gangly and handsome lasting determination successful the shattered solid with a crafty grin connected his look and the prima rising up down him. He smelled nice, similar leather and costly shampoo.

“What you doing here?” I mumbled. “You fixin’ to combat the Russians?”

With a profound grace, Sean knelt and poured acold h2o into my rima from a Nalgene bottle. I trembled from the request to cough and cry. I expected I was going into shock. Sean wiped the humor and tears from my eyes arsenic if helium were the Night Nurse—as if helium were the angel promised successful each the Sunday schoolhouse classes we attended unneurotic arsenic kids. And possibly helium was.

“I ne'er get present successful time,” Sean said.

“Shitfire Sean. Are you the Angel of Death?” I asked him.

“I americium Sufentanil, the angel of opioids,” Sean said with a grin. “Stick retired your tongue. This puppy is sublingual.”

“My favorite.”

I wept arsenic the tablet melted into thing I could not differentiate from love.

“This is gonna hurt,” Sean said arsenic helium lifted maine by my armpits and dragged maine implicit to the sidewalk and the shadiness of a eucalyptus tree.

The moan I released sounded similar an aggravated mammalian oversea creature.

“Easy, Scoot, easy,” helium said propping maine up against the tree.

Sean slipped disconnected his backpack and pulled retired a archetypal assistance kit. He unfolded a abstraction broad and tucked it astir me. He stood implicit maine framed by the dawn, shaking his head.

“You’re each messed up,” helium said.

“Do I look immoderate different?” I croaked.

Sean shrugged his monolithic shoulders.

“That ne'er makes a lick of sense,” helium said.

All the things that bash not hap operation successful the region and crumble successful my hands. Tell the drugs not to stop. Tell them.

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From This is How People Die by Will Cathcart. Used with support of the steadfast Evening Post Books. Copyright © 2026 by Will Cathcart.