They accidental we’re a municipality afloat of losers. They accidental we’re eccentric, eclectic—marginal. Maybe I’m exaggerating. But erstwhile idiosyncratic connected the East Coast starts talking astir a rivalry betwixt New York and San Francisco the information is they’re trying to shaft us. They’re saying they’re the best. They’re snobs. But I accidental we’re snobs, too. Here successful San Francisco we’re arrogant to beryllium the opposition. We’re gladsome to beryllium surviving connected what New Yorkers respect arsenic the incorrect coast, with the incorrect publishers, galleries, reputations. We are what we are. And damn the remainder of them. Call maine old-fashioned, but I’m inactive flying the emblem for the San Francisco Renaissance, each the poesy readings, mimeographed magazines, improvised galleries, experimental films.
Of course, I’m conscionable kidding astir here. Sort of kidding around. We weren’t—we aren’t—against East Coast success. Not really. Consider Mike, with his East Coast awards, inactive 1 of us. He’s the existent deal, though immoderate of his poems, beauteous arsenic they are, are a small excessively muffled for my taste. I’ve said that to him—and he’s good with it. He knows I deliberation Partly Cloudy and Cooler is simply a large book. Mike is Indian, Indian from the subcontinent. He’s fractional Indian, to beryllium precise. Father was immoderate benignant of import-export feline from Bombay. Met his parent successful San Francisco. They went backmost to India. Then she bailed. Years ago, she appeared astatine a mates of Mike’s readings, astir the clip his poems were starting to prime up a following. She was overmuch taller than Mike, noisily talking to each Mike’s friends, thing similar Mike. Mike, with his crisp features and small, acheronian hands, is astir apt astatine the Silver Spur close now, nursing his solid of vodka, 2 rocks, nary twist. (Years agone I did immoderate bartending.) He has a large caput of hair, I’ll springiness him that, heavy Indian hair. Still surviving connected the level of a Victorian successful the Haight that helium bought a twelve years agone erstwhile they were ungraded cheap, the down outgo from his archetypal Guggenheim. He’s precise arrogant of a radical of tiny Rajput paintings, bought from Ray Lewis years ago, erstwhile Ray was conscionable starting out, supplying Piranesi etchings of the sights of Rome to Nob Hill decorators but truly into Indian miniatures, Islamic calligraphy, and different worldly helium conscionable thought was cool. “My Indian heritage,” Mike says, lone fractional ironically, astir those miniatures with the tiny figures bowing to each other.
Mike reappeared past week. There helium was successful the precocious afternoon, sitting astatine the acold extremity of the barroom astatine the Silver Spur. (I similar a booth.) I happened to beryllium successful SF for a mates of days, printing a broadside for a poesy lawsuit successful Bolinas. I was blessed with the mode it was going. I’d started to enactment it together, utilizing a funky aged acceptable of Garamond type, each caps, but a mates of the vowels, the A and the E, were truthful worn they weren’t printing. I substituted a stark sans serif for those letters, and the effect was benignant of wonderful, the As and Es making a jazzy signifier weaving successful and retired astir the Old World Garamond. Although I’m contented and possibly much than contented spending astir of my clip present successful Marin, things bash get slow. As agelong arsenic I tin debar unreserved hr postulation connected the Golden Gate Bridge, I bask coming into the metropolis to enactment connected an absorbing job, possibly hook up with immoderate of the gang, slumber connected the daybed successful my shop—if it’s conscionable for a fewer days. Anyway, I was taking a interruption from the Bolinas broadside. I went implicit to the Silver Spur. Sat with Mike. He’d conscionable spent a week successful New York connected immoderate benignant of awards panel. He made immoderate cryptic remarks astir however severely best-selling novelists behave erstwhile it comes to distributing wealth among up-and-coming authors. I’m not definite precisely what helium said. He speaks softly, not looking astatine you erstwhile helium talks, facing guardant connected his barstool, elbows resting connected the bar, truthful he’s a small hard to hear, adjacent successful the precocious afternoon, earlier immoderate money’s been dropped successful the jukebox.
But this isn’t astir Mike; this is astir Marcia, who besides had immoderate occurrence backmost east. Of people Mike and Marcia knew each other. They some went backmost to Berkeley days. So bash I. Marcia, with her acheronian bangs, was voluptuous oregon fat, depending connected however you saw it. Zaftig is astir apt the word. If I hesitate it’s lone due to the fact that the Yiddish sounds a small odd, coming retired of my formerly Protestant mouth. I was calved a fewer hours southbound of here, successful Carmel. My dada was an designer who’d trained successful London; he’d grown up determination but had the wanderlust, truthful helium would say, and recovered his mode to California. Anyway, Marcia was the person of our assemblage crew. She was bossy, sometimes overbearing, but I wonderment if we would’ve ever had a enactment if Marcia hadn’t said, “Let’s person a party!” Mike, though helium hung astir with us, seemed a small excessively consecutive arrow. Always the diplomat. Marcia called him “the ambassador,” down his back. She was catty similar a schoolgirl, mean astir the radical she’d tossed retired of the nine oregon astatine slightest threatened to dump. Marcia and Mike bonded later, a fewer years aft Berkeley, bored oregon possibly annoyed by what they regarded arsenic the daydreamers among us. I conjecture I’m 1 of the dreamers.
Frankly I’m not ever each that wide astir the quality betwixt what we were similar successful assemblage and what we were similar a small later—or now, twenty-some-odd years later. Did we deliberation of Marcia arsenic girlish backmost then, erstwhile she really was a girl? And what of Jack (John to you) Johanson? I wonderment if I’m confusing the Jack I knew backmost past with Jack a fewer years later. When we were inactive kids the moustache and the cowboy swagger looked a small camp. Marcia kidded that he’d woken up 1 greeting and decided helium was successful immoderate aged Hollywood Western. I retrieve her saying that to his face. Now that he’s had immoderate paintings hanging astatine the Museum of Modern Art, I conjecture radical deliberation the moustache—it’s developed the slightest interaction of gray—looks aged masterish. Marcia wouldn’t springiness him an inch. “Those paintings lone hung astatine the Modern for a mates of months, the depository didn’t bargain anything, truthful what’s the large deal?” Marcia liked to accidental it was Evelyn, Jack’s wife, who was the truly talented painter. “Evelyn knew however to fto loose,” I heard Marcia denote connected much than 1 occasion. Of people Evelyn had stopped coating practically arsenic soon arsenic she met Jack. I wonderment however galore of her things Marcia ever really saw. But Marcia had a constituent to make, not truthful overmuch to enactment Evelyn up arsenic to enactment Jack down.
As for me, I’m not bully for overmuch of thing but keeping the aged printing property running. I inactive cognize however to improvise a caller portion erstwhile an aged 1 breaks down. I’ve managed to support my small endeavor much oregon little moving forward, getting retired the magazine, Velocipede I telephone it, a mates of times a year, publishing a fewer books of idiosyncratic else’s poems, and then, erstwhile oregon twice, my own. I was conscionable getting the property rolling erstwhile Marcia and I were together, a decennary retired of Berkeley. Since past I’ve made a surviving from it—barely. Marcia proofread the precise archetypal contented of Velocipede. She was terrific, a whiz erstwhile it came to straightening retired grammatical messes. If we’d stuck unneurotic it mightiness not person taken maine different eighteen months to people the 2nd issue. But immoderate it was that Marcia and I were up to backmost then, Marcia was excessively restless (or relentless) to truly settee successful with a feline she’d archetypal slept with mode backmost successful elder year. I was good with its being over, though it was a hassle uncovering a caller spot to live. I liked her, but she besides got connected my nerves. Then, flash forward, Marcia was backmost connected our seashore aft her triumphant 5 oregon six years successful New York, and abruptly Marcia and I had been shacked up for 2 years. Or I’d been shacked up with her, it was her house, aft all. Her clip successful New York had travel to an end, for reasons I ne'er wholly understood. She could person stayed successful Manhattan contempt immoderate vocation disappointments. If she had, I’m convinced she would’ve done damn well. Instead she chose to travel backmost present and bent retired with her aged friends—despite each the bellyaching she’d done astir San Francisco earlier she near and continued to bash adjacent aft her return.
But I conjecture I should statesman astatine the end, oregon astatine slightest the opening of the end. Which means San Francisco’s War Memorial Opera House, officialdom incarnate, the afloat treatment: marble, reddish carpets, polished brass, everything academically symmetrical, twinkle twinkle of agleam airy refracted o chopped crystal. “Oh shit,” had been my absorption erstwhile Marcia announced that we were going to spot yet different farewell circuit by Martha Graham, the aged container inactive dragging astir the stage. The portion was called Cortege of Eagles. I deliberation she discontinue dancing aboriginal that year. Easy for Marcia to accidental we should spell spot Martha Graham. She ne'er learned to thrust and expected maine to find parking close successful beforehand of the Opera House: “You cognize however I hatred to walk,” she liked to punctual me.
“We’ve got comps,” was her reply to my, “Who wants to spot Graham, anyway?” “It’ll beryllium a goof,” she added, “a goof, Burt.” Marcia inactive got comps, tons of them. Even though she was nary longer penning astir books, plays, and creation exhibitions, determination were radical who couldn’t rather judge it. So the publicists for writers, theaters, and museums kept penning and phoning, adjacent offering to alert her backmost to New York to spot this oregon that, erstwhile oregon doubly mentioning a escaped travel to Europe. She’d get disconnected the telephone and growl astatine me. Whatever the project, her absorption was the same. “I’m definite it’ll beryllium a fiasco. I’m going to hatred it. And I don’t person the patience for immoderate much hate. Which means I person thing much to say. I’ve written the curmudgeon retired of myself.” There was a assistance successful her dependable arsenic she explained herself to me. “I’m a changed woman,” she announced, lone fractional sarcastically. She surely didn’t caput that determination were radical who figured her vocation was going to occurrence up again, with the latest Broadway sensation receiving the afloat Marcia Lang attraction successful The New Yorker oregon who knows wherever else.
So determination I was, coming down the aisle astatine the Opera House aft a speedy pre-performance leak, slipping past rows of what backmost successful assemblage we’d called the squares, Pacific Heights professionals near and right, immoderate of them inactive milling astir successful the aisles, making it harder to get by. Marcia was mode up front, thing but the champion for Marcia. She was lasting successful the aisle, bent implicit Virginia Adams. Ginny, her agelong hairsbreadth conscionable opening to crook gray—I deliberation she was a fewer years older than us, possibly adjacent to fifty—was successful a Mexican muumuu, immense African beads hanging disconnected her skinny neck. She was giving Marcia a fixed, concentrated look. Ginny conscionable hardly survives connected immoderate bittersweet do-gooder part-time job. But the Opera House manager oregon adjunct manager was 1 of our aged Berkeley buddies. Back successful 1949 oregon 1950 he’d directed a Pirandello that helium claimed was a West Coast premiere. He gives Ginny a summons erstwhile helium can. “Poor Ginny,” Marcia whispered to maine arsenic the lights were going down, “she has aches and pains successful each bony of that undernourished assemblage of hers. She makes maine gladsome I’m overweight. Wow. The aged gang’s definite each here. They indispensable person been having occupation selling seats, if Ginny got a freebie. Funny. We thought Martha was truthful important erstwhile we were successful college, and present everybody’s present to ticker her autumn astatine connected her face-lifted face. I truly could constitute this up. Do a occupation connected it.”
Heavy curtain up; the moaning of sentimental strings; lights rising connected immoderate wedges and rectangles of scenery, guys and girls, the guys practically bare prevention for bits and pieces of neo-Greek get-up. Something astir gods and heroes, I got that, but I hadn’t had a accidental to look astatine the programme truthful couldn’t truly marque retired who was who oregon what was what, speech from knowing that Graham was playing Hecuba and the Trojan War was ending and beauteous overmuch everybody was dead. Graham was determination alright, an aged woman pacing astir the signifier oregon sitting connected a stool. I accidental the stool was designed by Noguchi, her longtime collaborator. She was obstruction thin, astatine slightest what you could spot of her that wasn’t covered by a cape of blackest black, her achromatic dyed hairsbreadth topped by immoderate benignant of aureate headdress that matched a aureate snake winding up her arm. She wasn’t doing much, conscionable ailing astir with her arms and opening her rima successful what was either a pantomime of a shriek oregon a laugh, I wasn’t sure. I fell into a funk, reasoning however overmuch I hatred Greek myths and tragedies. For immoderate present incomprehensible reason, I’d enrolled successful a semester of Ancient Greek astatine Berkeley, a nightmare that near maine convinced not lone that I’d ne'er beryllium capable to larn a overseas connection but besides that I’d ne'er again springiness a thought to Homer oregon Sophocles, whose words of wisdom, successful pathetic small excerpts, I’d stumbled implicit successful the textbook.
I looked astir astatine our friends, scattered successful the beforehand of the orchestra. Ginny seemed mesmerized. Why not? Back successful assemblage she had carried astir a dog-eared transcript of D. H. Lawrence’s The Plumed Serpent, a publication that galore years agone I dutifully opened lone to reason that it was mythopoetic crap. Ginny had gotten truthful carried distant with the full southwestern happening that she ended up surviving connected a Navajo preservation for a mates of years. She’s inactive a sucker for myths and legends, truthful Cortege of Eagles, immoderate the hellhole it was we were watching, was close up her alley. Mike, a mates of seats past her, was dozing. Smart man. A mates of seats distant from him was Jack, the moustachioed cowboy present the moustachioed scholar, whispering successful Evelyn’s ear. This isn’t expected to beryllium astir me, but I bash wonderment wherefore Evelyn ne'er seemed to similar me. Still doesn’t. On the uncommon occasions erstwhile I effort to speech to her, she looks astatine maine arsenic if I’m thing the feline dragged successful and dropped connected her spotless room floor. What does she person to beryllium truthful snotty about? Anyway, Evelyn appeared to beryllium listening attentively to Jack, though her eyes remained glued to the stage. Then the applause started. Cortege of Eagles was over. What a relief. Evelyn, clapping respectfully, turned to speech to Jack.
“Honey, get maine a champagne,” were the archetypal words retired of Marcia’s mouth. “I’ll beryllium with the gang.” To my skeptical raised eyebrow, indicating the overpriced barroom and the crush of radical nary uncertainty already there, she responded, “Oh, travel on, honey, the tickets were free, we’ve gotta enactment the damn Opera House. And get 1 for Ginny, too, it’ll assistance with immoderate it is that’s ailing her. She’s got a batch of ailments.” Off I went, though I bash hatred warring the enactment astatine a bar. Fight I did, past backmost I came, pleased with myself to beryllium managing the 3 glasses, handing them astir arsenic I arrived to the rat-a-tat-tat of speech successful the ellipse astir Marcia, everybody much oregon little hanging onto 1 of the precocious small barroom tables.
“I saw her successful the forties,” this was Ginny, “the look was truthful pure—it came wholly done the body—totally abstract—no mugging, nary inexpensive effects.”
“But tin a assemblage beryllium pure?” That was Jack, bringing it astir to himself. His drawings of nudes sprawled connected the daybed successful his workplace were up successful 1 of the fewer bully galleries successful town. Those drawings were inactive a small shocking. Some of our friends, who’d assumed that abstract creation was each that immoderate longer truly mattered, were wondering if Jack’s nudes were extremist oregon retro oregon if retro was the caller radical.
“Well, Jack, your nudes aren’t pure.” That was Mike, his look fixed successful his customary fractional smile, truthful you weren’t definite if helium was being ironic oregon not.
“They’re surely not meant to beryllium ironic,” Jack returned, professorial, a small heated.
“Anyway,” Ginny pursued, ignoring the men, “all the mugging and oculus rolling, it’s Martha betraying Martha.”
“You don’t similar Greek Kabuki?” Mike pressed her, whether mocking oregon defending Martha it was hard to know. Or was it Ginny helium meant to mock, successful his laid-back way?
“Greek Kabuki. Right, Mike. That’s it.” This was Marcia. She was winding herself up. “You cognize what? I deliberation I similar the caller aged Martha amended than the aged caller Martha. Wasn’t determination ever thing fake astir that expressive purity of hers? I mean, springiness maine a break. In her dotage she’s fto the aged thespian dragon who was ever successful determination travel out—all the mode out. She’s crazed, not with the relation but the artifice of the role. Sure it’s schlock. It’s fabulous schlock. Like Sarah Bernhardt connected her umpteenth tour, missing a limb oregon something.”
“Oh, Marcia,” Ginny jumped in, but past fell silent. So did the remainder of us. Not that anybody agreed. But Marcia was opening to dependable similar Marcia connected the page, Marcia successful those essays that some excited and infuriated her readers. And speech astir schlock, surely determination was thing if not precisely schlocky past decidedly sensationalist astir Marcia’s mode of eviscerating an creator oregon an event. Marcia was the higher schlock. Hadn’t Jack said that to Evelyn 1 night? Hadn’t Mike said it to Jack? Wasn’t Ginny suggesting it close now? There was thing carnivalesque astir Marcia’s intelligence riffs. But Marcia’s highhandedness could besides beryllium seductive. She was truthful damn definitive. Now she was looking around, assessing the damage, weighing her effect. Her champagne was astir empty.
“Burt!” She turned to maine with a unusual look, grabbing my arm, a smidge of champagne dribbling crossed her formal arsenic her limb flopped down and the integrative solid tipped over. “I amended beryllium down.” She sat, astir fell backward, onto a banquette, arsenic a pistillate shoved person to her hubby to marque country for Marcia, who was intelligibly successful immoderate benignant of distress. And determination Marcia was, slumped connected the banquette, the integrative solid inactive gripped successful her hand, her eyes rolled back. “Pamela!” It was Mike, turning to the young pistillate who had been astatine his broadside each the time, quiescent portion we talked. “She’s a doctor,” helium explained. Figured. Mike likes competent women; they’re unperturbed erstwhile helium sends them packing. She ripped unfastened the beforehand of Marcia’s dress, revealing a precise expensive-looking lace bra. And began pounding. To nary avail. Marcia, who immoderate had predicted astatine the opening of the 1960s would beryllium the dependable of the decade, writer of 2 nonfiction books, Slummings and A Night astatine the Opera, dormant astatine forty-five. And, of course, the irony, of the writer of A Night astatine the Opera dying astatine the Opera House, not mislaid connected the radical who wrote the obituaries successful The New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle (where she’d erstwhile had a lousy job, truthful lousy they didn’t adjacent notation it).
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From We Never Called it Frisco by Jed Perl. © 2026, Coffee House Press.
English (US) ·